here I go again

I'm not really sure why I'm making another attempt at an online blog... but it just seems like the thing to do. Whenever I get done reading "She Walks Around With It" (which, if you haven't read- you should read it http://shewalks.blogspot.com/) I feel the need to go back to writing. It's been such a ridiculously long time since I've written anything besides a paper for school. I remember a time when I was churning out poem after poem, and they were all really good and meaningful and .... it just hasn't been like that in a really long time. I've had so much happen in my life in the past year that I should be writing about, but I'm just not.
Lately though, I've found myself once again tossing around lines and ideas and writing on scrap pieces of paper that I end up loosing parts of what could someday turn into, something. So, that's what brings my here. The undying urge to be a writer, even if only on the world wide web.

********************
I'm living in Denville with three strange boys. Well, soon to be two. But, strangers none the less. Almost a year ago to date, I was packing my things up and leaving Boston forever. I wish I could say I never looked back. But I did, and I do. Some days I'll see people who remind me of Dean walking through the aisles of Target and I'll get goosebumps on my arms because I think that maybe, finally, he's coming through for me and ready to become friends.

Not getting a response to the email I sent him two weeks ago really crushed my spirit. Is it related to why I've been sleeping so much lately? Maybe...I'd like to think that it's not, that I'm over that phase in this long recovery, but I honestly don't know. Seven years is just such a long time to have someone completely turn their back on you. I don't even know who he is anymore and there are no words to describe how sad that really is.

*******************

I, for the first time in as long as I can remember had the whole weekend off. And, instead of getting ahead of the mountain of homework I have to do, I farted around the house for two days. Saturday I broke down and $40 worth of cleaning supplies, 1/2 a bottle of wine and a few hours later my house was amazingly clean. Of course none of the boys offered to help clean, but what else did I expect? I then met up with Allie for a few (too many) drinks at the Fireside and ended up meeting some awesome single ladies who I spent a few hours bashing on men with. What can I say, sometimes you have to just let it all out. Sunday I slept late, watched part of a Law and Order marathon (nerd) and then Mike came over for some pre Simpsons hang out.

Oh. Mike.
I don't even know what to say about him- other than he makes me smile. That's about all I can handle right now.

I should be writing a Women's World paper......so off I go.